I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
