Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
