when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
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Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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