But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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