bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
