is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize