erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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