on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
