trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
