You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
