Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
