See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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