dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
