Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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