i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
