I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
