Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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