Need sex. Gaining weight.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
