I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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