margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
