im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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