this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
