somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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