i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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