Who wears a wallet chain?!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
honey bunches of taint.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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