I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I would ride that face into the sunset
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize