There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
