My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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