I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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