Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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