I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
