I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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