I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
