I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
