im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
