dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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