they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
