pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
