what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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