Define "chronic" masturbator.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
