She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
