It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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