Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
