Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's official drugs can't kill me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
