I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
