its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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