I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
