Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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