i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
