he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize