I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
