She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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