They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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