i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
