After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we made out on top of his cat.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
