just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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