I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
