Can i not drive my cunt home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
