i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
