So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
