I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
